Inspiration!?!

You see, I didn't realize that year after year, my personality and my future were slowly being buried under a growing layer of fat.

This morning I happened upon a motivational spark story on my beloved sparkpeople! Above was a quote from the woman’s story; I learned she lost her first husband while they were still newlyweds, remarried and had a son, lost over 60 pounds and climbed Mt. Fuji... that’s right, and this is what I got out of her story.

But, this sentence seemed to best illustrate my life currently and so it is what I identified with. I can’t believe how a few words could hit home – and so hard! My husband told me the other day I was boring; now granted he was in a grumpy mood and had just gotten out of the hospital but still… things that make you go hm?!?! And he was kind of right; I can honestly say I am happy with what I have accomplished thus far, I love my husband, adore my son, am happy with my home and my job and yet… oh yes, here it comes… something seems to be missing. And I would bet my last dollar that something probably has a size 10 somewhere on the inside of it. Ha! I kid… I have admittedly become boring, lazy and lacking in the fun department. Now, mind you, I have a lot of ideas of fun but they’re pretty much stuck in my head… not much has been put to action. Heck, as I write this I am proud of myself for walking around town last night with my son and husband. And I have every right to be proud of myself because my other option most assuredly would have been to sit on my couch for some Sunday night television.
Whew – now that I have that out of the way, I can also realize the old Tiff most definitely would have considered a walk around town a warm up, would have been busy planning what she was going to do next and wouldn’t even know what shows are on TV, let alone considered it an option. Sigh I want to run, jump, play and have the energy to do it all over again. And therein lies the meaning of the oh so knowledgeable sparker – my life, along with my zest for life, my personality and my future, has become buried under my growing layer of fat. How awful to see that in black and white and know it is true. A perfect example – my husband’s employer’s family picnic is held at a regional amusement park; free food, free admission… so all in all, a great free day to enjoy the park and our biggest expense is the drive up and home and I said no… for two reasons 1) I thought I may possibly have ended up pregnant (which I wasn’t) and 2) I didn’t want to embarrass my husband or myself by my weight, including being too heavy to fit on the rides. Ugh; I am ashamed to write that even now but it is the God’s honest truth. We are taking the kids to the amusement park in August and I am now down to a month and a half before I may be required to ride the roller coasters and other such rides – who made those things so small to begin with??? I know at this weight last fall I was incredibly uncomfortable and barely fit in a couple of rides; I would like to be at least 15 pounds smaller by mid-August. In the meantime, I would also like to keep walking and working on some toning and core exercises so that even if I am not 15 pounds smaller everything might be pulled in some thereby increasing my chances of fitting…